It’s not really about Mila Kunis

It’s never a surprise when I see pictures of Mila Kunis double fisting 2 coffees.

When I do it, shit goes to hell.   The other day I tried drinking two ice coffees and my throat clenched up.  I  dribbled all over myself, pretty much looking like a half-asian with down-syndrome (most days I just look like a retard).

What happened to my swallowing capabilities??  I can only think of a few ways to exercise my pharynx?  No. I lied–just one way. But it usually involves spitting.

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It should have been an Irish Car Bomb

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I ate my feelings the other night at Noho Star. Why? Because the modern women is suffocating under a workload that encompasses the responsibilities of both genders.
So pour me another Irish coffee while I stuff the rest of that nutella crepe in my mouth because I’m taking the night off.

IT MADE ME THINK OF A THREESOME

Two things I love about the coffee at Grey Dog.

The first is the efficiency of the slide lock!

Check me out, I was elbowing jabbing people in Union Square and didn’t spill a single drop of brew. How has McDonald’s not caught on to this concept?

The second reason I love this lid is a bit more subtle.  I mean, how many coffee lids say “DOUBLE TEAM” on them.  Or is my mind the only one thinking of double penetration?